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So I took the initiative and broke it off. We were still friends and would hang out. I wasn’t very sad but I went on with life. Problem started when she started liking some other guy and started to flirt with him and all. I was jealous and sad. Around that time my friend Shalini (named changed) also broke up with her bf cause she caught him cheating. She was one of my close friends so I did all I could to help her.Soon we began talking very often. We were constantly chatting or meeting every evening and going for walks.Shalini was a hot girl. She had that perfect zero size body. She had even done some part time modeling. She soon became the person who would make me happy just by her presence. One day she came over to my place. I was cleaning my room that time. Mom called me down and left for work.I offered Shalini some water and asked her of she was hungry.Shalini: Nope. I’ll help you clean your room!Me: No way! Its a guys room! Its all.messed up and really dirty. Princesses like you. I craved it more strongly than Carrie Bradshaw craved Manolo Blahnik shoes. That phrase, “Once you go black, you never go back” is all about the feeling and texture of the skin. I had the socially acceptable explanation for my black craving. I used that paucity-of-available-white-partners rationale to explain my relationships with black men for several years. A white she male past forty is often passed over by her white-male contemporaries. he goes younger or ethnic or foreign-born or down the socioeconomic scale or darker or she spends lonely nights at home with her computer. Black men are happy to get the mature she male they couldn't have when she was twenty something. The laws of the marketplace do prevail. It’s not me, it’s them being that white guys who weren't after me anymore, or so I claimed.That’s a lie. The truth is, I attract about the same percentage of available mature white men my age (and far younger!) now as I did when I was thirty and that’s not including the.
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